ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................
don't read this if you don't want to listen to me complain........shield your eyes and turn the page...
ughhhhhhhhhh..........i'm sick of this.....i just want to hide away and go into hibernation until this is all over with...my friend alex in mad at me...my old boyfriend's mad at me...my mom's mad at me...and all because, for once, i acted selfish and didn't do things to hurt myself just to make other people happy...
my mom wants to move. i don't want to move. my parents NEVER think about US; me and cyrus, and the impact moving all the time has on a person. you know, those 2 years of middle school were the longest i had ever stayed at a school without moving. if i move back to my little hometown, that'll mean 9 different school's and 12 transfers T_T. i was never a strong person to begin with. pretty soon, there won't be anything left for me to peice back together. i'm a completely different person than i was in middle school. everyone just knows me as the quiet little goth chick that sits in the corner of the room and answers all the questions right. so yeah, my mom's always said that wherever she goes, we're coming too. now that i saw my hometown again for the first time in 3 years and didn't like it, i decided that i would honestly lose my effing mind if i moved there. so i told her...that's the closest i've ever come to telling her there's something wrong inside me...and do you know what she told me? you know what the woman who's supposed to stick with me whatever happens and hold my head up through it all said to me saying that i'd really lose my mind if i had to live there in that tiny town?
"i don't care where you decide to go, i just know i'm leaving. i've had enough of this place and if that means going off by myself and leaving you all here with your dad, that's what it's going to take."
my loving mother.
she's never been here for me, now that i come to think of it. she was always away at work and my dad was always shut up in his room sleeping during the day because he had to work a night shift.
.............i can't do this...
and now my friends are mad at me because either i don't like them or i do still have lingering feelings...i mean how was i supposed to react to matt telling me that he was already looking for a new girlfriend and he wanted me to get to work on finding a new boyfriend...? well...he didn't say it exactly like that, but that was the raw reality of it...i guess i could have been a total bitch and asked my friend out since they hate eachother...but i wouldn't do that...T_T...

*sigh* make it stop